Monday, July 20, 2009
So I decided to give up and jump on the Twitter train. However, instead of using this as a way to update others about happenings in my life, I am instead going to use this as my weight loss "journal." I am hoping that this will in fact make me really stick with my goals and help me to get myself back where I need to be physically.
I know that everyone (especially girls) have had to deal with "weighty" issues. But when you are not used to it, it can be extremely difficult. In school, I was always the small one. I was too skinny, but I was not big either. I guess you could say I was just right. And to top it all off, I could also eat ANYTHING I wanted at ANY time! A 3a.m. Kyrstal run? No problem. A whole bag of Oreos? Go ahead. No problem. During college, my friends and I would actually go to the gym to work out and then buy a pint of ice cream as a reward - and I still lost weight! Then my medical issues decided to take over......
During my Junior year of High School, I underwent surgery for a cyst on my ovary. During the procedure, my physician at the time discovered hemorrhaging in my uterus - it was endometriosis.
Although not big deal at the time, this would effect my life more than I thought - beginning six years later.
At 23, I underwent another surgery to "clean me out." (girls, you get what I am saying; boys, you don't even want to know) My physician decided to also start me on Lupron (the worst idea of my life). Basically, I received a shot for the next three months, which put my body in menopause. Yep, I got the hot flashes, mood swings, and the best benefit yet - the weight gain. However, it was only 10 pounds. More than I was used to carrying but I thought, no biggie, it will be six years before I have another surgery. I can lose the 10 pounds. Wrong. Instead, thanks to thanks to the double medication (Lupron again and yet another drug, Femura) being consumed by my body, I got a gift - an extra 20 pounds! Freaking out at this time? Yes, but thinking I could surely lose the weight easily. I will just run a little more. No biggie. Wrong. As you ladies who are or have already experienced menopause, this is not the case. You cannot just run it off as easy as you could when you were younger.
This surgery has occurred two more times since I was 23. I had surgery June 2008 and another surgery in April 2009 (Happy Birthday to me!). Needless to say, with all the drugs and surgeries, my body AND metabolism has never been the same. I am sad to say that as of today, I am about 50 pounds heavier than my good ole' size 2/4 days =(
Am I still on Lupron? Absolutely not. Am I still paying the consequences? I sure am. I can no longer just go for a run or watch what I eat and lose 10 pounds like that. Right now, losing 5 is even difficult. And I have tried everything you could think of - the good and the bad. Now, my eating habits are part to blame. I do not blame ALL of this on my medical condition (but I DO blame a lot of it =))
I finally decided I need outside help - so I turned to facebook hoping people would have some success stories to help get me motivate. One friend of mine told me about the "Skinny Bitch" book. Man, does that book tell you straight up how it is, which is probably what I needed. Everything that book said not to consume or do, I do!!! No wonder I am having such difficulty. My metabolism is shot thanks to the medication I used to take, and I am comsuming not so good things. Therefore, I am deciding today is a time to make a change! But I am taking it one step at a time, like the book recommends. "Choose one vice a week to stop consuming." This week, diet soda!
So, as you all decide to follow me on my journey, I beg for you to help me and be completely honest with me (whether you know me well or not at all). Or, if you are trying to lose weight as well, maybe we can do it together! Two brains are better than one!
So, now that I have babbled on enough, I am going to leave you with a letter to my recently deleted vice:
Dear Diet Mountain Dew,
I will miss you more than words would say. Although you will still live in my fridge thanks to my hubby (who loses weight just standing up and sitting down), we will no longer have the relationship we used to. I will be sure to wave to you from time to time, but for now, so long my dear friend.